i was going to touch

a bacha red flower

who had grwon on a little plant

in the ashes of a hut

i was going to touch

the bacha red flower

but it cried

do not touch me

do not

i was a little child

happy and playing

then i was thrown into the fire

i did not even know  what was god

i did not know who was your god

or who was their god

i was thrown into the fire

i was alive

i was happy

i was playing

please do not touch me

i am a little drop of blood .

she came and stood before me

she had come from rain

she was smiling    laughing

with rain drops on her face and head

and she had applied a tilak of red mati

on her forehead

aha...

i had no words for her beauty and love

i wanted  a rain drop from her face

she understood and

went away laughing

and went away forever...

oh where are you now ?

i am living so you also must be alive

come for once

i want to see your face again

with rain drops on your face and head

you know old age gives more beauty.

they were walking in a quiet lane

under the shade of trees

talking in smiles

not in words

dreaming in breezy love

dry leaves under their feet

feeling like petals of flowers.

morning

sun came up on the hill line

then wanted to drop down

he had seen    MAN

it was a beautiful morning . i was in a small village, with some photographer 'friends'.

some little girls and boys came running . they were 3-5 years old , all naked.

my friends made them in a line and took photos

and took photos of their back sides also

all naked

i did not feel  like taking photos

then they talked about how much money they can make

and their artistic freedom

while returning i saw something and took a photo

it was an uprooted and fallen tree.

I do not want to write this story.

but i have to write, to get my mind calm,

iam feeling disturbed ,

still iam not sure that i will get peace, even after writing,

i was playing with khushi,

many little games.

we were having fun, we were happy

then i thought about a new game

i told khushi--" khushi stand agaist that wall"

she went

then i saw her against the wall-

she had turned all pale and

she was tremling

her eyes were full of tears

it seemed she will fall

i had a strong fear

i took her in my arms

hugged her tight

she then started crying

--khushi dont  dont fear, it is nothing

--khushi you are ok

i wanted to play--

i had actually no good words to calm her.

--khushi you are brave girl, dont worry--

she slowly calmed down

but still sobbing

--i love you khushi--

and in her tears she said--you punished me--

punished

i did not understand

then a word came in my mind

Teacher

o teachers--

---khushi teacher punished you like that, stand against the wall ? --

she never answers, questions like that. 

i was in a clinic, feeling fever. iwas waiting for my turn to see the doctor.

then i looked outside, saw a gulmohar tree.

he was in full bloom.

he called me--come here

and i went, a squirrel was there , on the ground

 it ran up the tree, saying ---hello

like, gulmohar said-- welcome

come under me

i stood under the tree

under the sky of red flowers

i felt fresh, no fever

i did not go to the doctor.

A girl came near me,

iam diya

yes , she was beautiful, sweet , soft and smiling

she was really like a diya

-- iam khushi's little sister

she was about 4 , khushi had turned 6 on 21 april

"so diya iam your nanaji"

--no--

--then what ?--

--first say, diya darling--say this--

" ok, diya darling"

--say , i love you--

" i love you "

-- so iam your girl friend--

" where you have come from diya "

-- i have come from a rose flower, a yellow rose flower--

and you know khushi has come from a blue lotus--

--who has told you all this"--

--khushi, and you know you have come from a sunflower--

--khushi told you this also?--

--yes--

she was going to sit beside me for more sweet talk, but

her mother came, and she went with her.

so i have a girl friend now--diya--

i was standing in a corner of a road. i was confused.

i was feeling lonely

noise noise noise

as if everybody was throwing stones on my ears

i wanted to run somewhere

but then i heard a voice

a song like voice

i saw a sparrow was sitting on a compound wall of a house nearby

a common sparrow

i felt a friend ... a long lost friend had come to meet me.

i was happy.